MMMMMMMMMMMUSTANG

I didn`t want to write about my Metallicar anymore so I wouldn`t bore you to death with it but a lot of you have come up to see me to check up on her.
So here goes.
Why wasn`t I at school with it lately ?
Why am I only using it on weekends you asked ?
It`s very simple.
My car went through open heart surgery.
Right before my eyes , in my garage.
What a sight.
Pierre and I learned a lot about mechanics thanks to Kevin Marcotte ( yes Joelle`s brother who was also in Intensive).
Kevin will graduate next year in - you guessed it- auto mechanics.
Kevin bought his first car at the age of 11 ( I swear this is true ) so he could fix it with his uncle.
His family owns 2 vintage Camaros and Kevin has been under a hood since he can remember.
I call Kevin the CAR WHISPERER.
This is an art, a science, surgery I tell you.
It`s in his blood or it`s just in him period.
He`s a perfectionist and looooves my car.
I wouldn`t let JUST anyone touch my car, but Kevin can.
And it`s great to know that the money I pay him mostly goes on mechanic tools ( very expensive ) he needs to do his craft.
He`s presently working on his own project : a vintage pick- up truck that could race a jet.
He gives us lots of advice on the car which we abide to religiously.

After weeks of working on the motor : new gaskets, spiffed up motorheads etc, she was ready.
So we thought.
But keep in mind this is a 1973- do the math : 35 years old this year.
After a road test, she wouldn`t shift - change gears
She didn`t do that before. Hmmmm.
Problem - solving becomes a hobby when you own a vintage car.
Try this, try that and a test drive.
Do some research, talk to your mechanics, test drive .
See your mechanics at the garage, hold your breath, cross your fingers, pay- go for a test drive.
Eureka !
She`s ready.
You should have seen Kevin`s face when pierre started her up in the garage !
It was a million dollar smile of satisfaction .
But it`s raining, Kevin says NEVER to take her out for a spin when it rains !
Let`s make an exception, we`ve been waiting 8 months, then she`ll never feel the rain EVER promised.
And it`s pure bliss.
Satisfaction, reward`after 8 loooong months.
She`s purring under the hood and so was I, I swear.

So that ladies and germs, is the update on the Metallicar.
And the good news is that the weather forecast for the rest of the week is sunny and warm.
Perfect weather to go for a ride or to go to work with it.
It`s sunny and warm in my heart too let me tell ya.
Was it worth the 8 months of longing ?
Darn straight, it makes you appreciate her much more.
You recognize her old sounds and creaks and on the lookout for any other strange noises.
Why take drugs when you can drive a Mustang ?
Being high on just plain living and driving is good enough for me.

On that, I`ll go meet Pierre in the garage so we can sigh in chorus.
Tata,
No rest for the wicked.

Annie xx

V8 motor 302 : not a jet but just enough juice for mom and dad with their kids.

Kevin and his apprentice Pierre working hard on his children`s inheritance !
Kevin, the Car Whisperer.

Almost ready for the test drive......Pretty soon she`ll purrrrrrrrr like a kitten.

Thanks Kevin for the great work. You`re her favorite mechanic. It was a joy having you around.

Thanks for the mechanics 101 classes.

THE DAIRY QUEEN

ATTENTION ALL SEC.5 INTENSIVE STUDENTS : JUNE 5TH, 5 O`CLOCK. BE THERE.

Hello there Ladies and germs.
It`s been a while,hasn`t it ?
Many things have been going on since my last post.
Mostly good, mostly hectic.

I wrote a check to a science charity in Silicone Valley in California today, NOT to get bigger breasts but to quickly find a way to clone people . ( I can`t believe I just wrote that. Note to myself: edit last sentence .)
I need a clone and I need her yesterday !!
If I had to pick her, she would be exactly like me except more patient and drug-free.

No I am NOT a drug addict but at this rate, I just might become one.
Let me explain before you start thinking I`m on drugs and liking it.
I`ve taken 3 series of antibiotics and other prescription drugs ( anti-imflamatory pills ) for what was thought to be tonsilits.
After 2 sets of antibiotics and no change ( thank God for Motrin, Advil ! ), I return to see the doctor with a final verdict : my annual Streptocoque.
But so soon I tell the doctor ?
I usually get this the 1st day of my summer vacation ( for some it`s vacation, for me, it`s convalescence ) !
So that`s 2 in 10 months. Bingo, Jackpot. Where`s the check ?
Pierre says my Steptocoque is as stubborn as me after 3 antibiotic treatments with no results.

And it makes me laugh when the doctor and my pharmacist say : take all the medication, eat ice cream and get lots of rest.
Excuuuuuuuuuse me ?
Rest ?
Lady, we`re in May, the end of the year, I can`t rest, can`t be sick either, there`s just no time for it.
Are you kidding me?
I can do the ice cream though ....Hagen Daz, come to mommy.
Ice cream for medical reasons, yeah right, tell my waistline.
Call me THE Dairy Queen, that`s me .

I can meditate, walk instead of run, drink lots of fluids ( that means coffee ) but rest, I don`t think so.
And according to the professionals, I got it from my students.
We share everything now don`t we ?
And the teachers constantly telling me last week : Annie, you talk funny!
In Annie`s head only : Well honey, you look funny and I don`t tell YOU!
How would you like to have a Staedtler eraser down your throat and trying talking with it all day ?
Wanna try ? I`ll help ya .
But I don`t actually say it, just think it. It`s safer that way and I don`t go back home with a black eye.
Try explaing that to my kids .
When the Streptocoque arrives, my patience and tolerance level ( the little I have ) goes out the window.
If you`ve noticed or been a victim of it , I sincerely apologize.
It`s the darn drugs.
And I don`t even get a buzz, it just makes me sleepy, fuzzy ( like I`m snoozing in bed ) and cranky.
Even my kids at home behave better than Mommy- imagine.
Pretty soon they`ll see Mommy sending herself in her room for the evening.
Wouldn`t that be a switch ?
Well at least I have an excuse now.

On the bright side, my kids are off to Ottawa.
Without me.
I did organize and set the whole thing but will sit this one out.
Annie the Benchwarmer.
I had to .
My kids will have a great time in our national capital.
I can`t wait to see how they enjoyed it and how well it went.
As promised, I will be on the front porch of the school Friday night at 9:00 O`clock.
I shall be your welcome committee.

To my other kids in Sec.5:
#1- I love you guys.
#2- Don`t forget our special evening June 5th.......5:00 O`clock.
#3- I love you guys.
Told you it was the drugs.
#4- Special thanks to Jean-Michel and Dany Jutras for almost killing me in class today.
I jumped out of my skin.
My fingers are still numb so much I got scared.
Could be the drugs too.
So boys, KNOCK before you come in !
I`m no young chick anymore, you gotta think of my ticker ( my heart).
Hi to André Bé , Etienne Dé, Etienne Bé, John Michael and Dany California.
I miss and love you too.
And John Michael, for the love of god, bring me back my teddy bear you " borrowed " from my classroom !

On that, gotta go.
I have medication to take.

No rest for the wicked,
Annie xx

Mrs. FROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHLICH !

Kathleen proudly posing with her Latté at Starbuck`s in Montreal. She begged me to order it for her but I insisted she could order it on her own. She did while I was checking on the sideline. She was very proud of herself as you can see. On the left: Alexandra and Sarah-Claude.

This is the Kathleen we all know. Thanks Sylar.

Imagine yourself walking somewhere in the school and hearing from far far away the following :
" Hey Mrs. Froooooooooooooooooooooohlich "
At first you think you`re tired and probably imagine hearing it. Then from nowhere you hear it again but still no face to go with the voice in view.
"Alright you are really losing it Annie, seriously, don`t read up so late in bed anymore."
" I gotta lay off the books and get more zzzzz`s "
You hear it again but this time with a laugh that goes along the very exagerated Mrs. Froooooooohlich.
And there she`d be with her cocky smile : Kathleen right in front of you.
I wouldn`t know if I wanted to hug her or wring her neck.
She got me again.
When will I ever learn ?

Our conversations would often start with her saying : " Annie, you know what ? "
Our best conversations were non-verbal : she walking in the corridor, I blow her a kiss, she blows a kiss back, we wink at each other and that was it : short, wordless and to the point.
I could read this girl like a book .
I first met Kathleen 2 years ago and fell in love with her the very first period of the year :

Day 1 of the year.
She`s sitting in front of my desk in class.
I knew she`d had my sister Caroline in grade 6 at Baie Du Febvre.
I start my first period of the year by introducing myself and 2 minutes into my speech she raises her hand :
Me : " Yes Kathleen "
Kathleen : " Are you like your sister Caroline ?"
Me : With my most serious poker face : " I`m exactly like her and worse ! "
Kathleen : She thinks, then gives me a big grin.
I loved this girl instantly. This girl has balls, I`m gonna like her.
And I`ve loved her ever since .

To be very honest with you, I must say that this week has been one of the most difficult teaching experience if not the most difficult. Children just aren`t supposed to die.
Surely it was just as difficult for you.
I found out about Kathleen`s heart attack early Sunday evening .
I was sleeping due to tonsilitis.
The phone rings and I get the news.
I get to work the next day and my sister confirms the worst.
I`m in total denial.
Kathleen has character, she`s strong, she`s a tough cookie, she`ll make it.
So I won`t see her till June but I`ll see her bouncing around the corridors next September.

Then Wednesday morning comes around : 8:10 a.m and I see my sister Caroline waiting in the corridor near the school`s front doors.
How sweet, she wants to give me news on Kathleen.
" Step into my office" she says.
OK, that`s not good I tell myself but don`t fret, this can`t be bad I have 3 periods this morning I gotta do and .......surely she can`t give me bad news just before I step into class?
" Annie, Kathleen passed away "
Total shock.
Not kathleen, she`s such a fighter !
But even the best soldiers can go down.

Needless to say I couldn`t do my first period nor my second but I got myself together to do the third period thanks to Caro, Pierre , Josée Garon, Karyna and Katherine .
And I had to do the 4th one: English Lit Sec.4, Kathleen`s group.
With the help of the staff who graciously offered their support and help, who were on standby in the corridor just in case , I survived.
Taking the presence was the hardest.
A common, banal action like taking the presence seemed impossible to do when you have an empty desk in front of you and see your kids crying.
What can you say to make the pain go away ?
Nothing.
You can only acknowledge it.
Like a batter,you give it your best swing and pray for a homerun.
(Thanks K. )

And strangely as it seems, I still expect to see her walking in the corridor near my classroom, blowing me a kiss on the way.
I still wait for her to show up for class and hear her say : Hello Mrs.Frohlich.
This is what we call denial/ yearning/searching which is a normal phase of mourning or grief:
Yearning and Searching - this phase combines an intense separation anxiety and disregard or denial of the reality of the loss.
In other words you still do not realize she is gone and that she won`t come back.
Some of you feel like that now, you`ve told me.
You are so normal.

I`ve made a list of some of the best memories I`ve had with kathleen.
Everytime I roll the film of the moments in my head, I cry.
But I do know that time will permit me to roll that same film in my head and I will smile and it will eventually warm my heart instead of being painful.
How much time ?
I don`t know, but it`ll take the time necessary.
It`s called healing. Like healing from an injury.

Here`s my homemade movie with Kathleen :
7- She would have to work hard in English , it wasn`t always easy for her but she never quit. She always worked hard and often she did it just to please me.
6- Her working hard on the novel The Outsiders because she found it difficult but loved the novel so much . She`d tell me often.
5- My first meeting in class with her in Sec.2 : love at first sight.
I still see the grin she had.
4- The cute little smiles she`d send my way in the corridor while I would be greeting my students at the door.
3- Her favorite conversation starter : " Mrs. Frohlich , you know what ? "
2- Her bossing me around last Thursday ,her pretending she was scolding me because I hadn`t corrected her text YET : " You did not correct my text yet ? Mrs. Frohlich I will punish you"And we`d laugh .
1- Two years ago when I taught Kathleen in Sec.2, I had to stay home for a couple of weeks for medical reasons. It was in June. A week into the exam week.
Julie Houle calls me up from school and says there`s a certain Kathleen who really wanted to see me before the summer holidays.
Could she come over my house for a few minutes she asks.
A few minutes later they were both at my place and I was really glad to see both of them.
We chitchat for a few minutes and then she hands me a plastic bag.
In the plastic is a small box.
In the small box is a little pink angel pin.
" It`s the protective angel of teachers" she says .
" I wanted to thank you for all your help you gave me this year "
I look at her, I hug her and although it really wasn`t necessary, I truly appreciate the angel and will gladly wear it I tell her.
Pierre was as touched as me.
The first day of school I had kathleen this year, I wore it on my sweater to tell her I still was very grateful and especially to tell her I was still there for her.
Sometimes words aren`t necesary.
I wore it this week too.

But throughout this very difficult ordeal this week I keep reminding myself that I had the privilege of saying good-bye last Friday at 3:45 not knowing it would be our last human contact.
She came over to talk to me in the central corridor, we talked, we hugged and I kissed her good-bye and finally wished her a nice weekend.
And that is how my Kathleen movie ends:
On a happy note, a Hollywood ending, a happy ending.
But the movie isn`t quite over.

I see a sequel coming out eventually.
I see her with her grandfather( who by the words of Kathleen is a saint ) and she`s bossing him around , the Kathleen way.
I see her watching over my kids and family.
I see her watching over me when times will be difficult at school.
I see her smiling eyes and hear her laugh .
And I know that even though it is painful now when I see this sequel and tears are shed, eventually, with time, a grin, a smile will eventually replace my tears.
And that ladies and germs is a grrrrreat sequel.
And now, I have a face to go with my teacher angel pin.
She`ll always be with me, sometimes on my shirt but always in my heart.

So for you Kathleen, a track that`s been in my head all week .
SAY THAT YOU`LL BE ( track # 10 )
http://www.orangerecordlabel.com/lindyjukebox/jukebox.html

To better understand grief/mourning, its phases and process, here is a link that simply explains each phase.
We get to see that we are all very normal in our personal grieving process and that eventually, it will get better.
Here`s the link : http://www.journeyofhearts.org/kirstimd/AMSA/grief.htm

To all my kids in Intensive, hang in there, it`ll get better you`ll see.
You know where to find me if you need anything........Don`t be shy.
To Pierre, Caro, Josée Garon ,Katherine, Karyna, Claude and the staff in general,my students, thanks for your support, your love, your smiles, winks and high fives.
I totally appreciate it.
Rock on,
Annie xx